I'm 40...

Some thoughts on reaching this place in life.

One of the weird things about getting older is how things change. 

Life is about change. It happens. We see change happen all around us. For those who have gone before me, they already know this. Their seasons have come and gone and come again. They have already seen the cycles of life. Some have embraced it and thrived. Others have struggled.

So here I stand at the age of 40.

Looking back at the wonderful life I've had, despite encountering health struggles over the years, I've wrestled with my beliefs and conducted extensive research in search of truth. Witnessing hundreds of other people getting healed, I ultimately discovered that Truth is a person. 

My passions have changed over the years but have almost always stayed focused around Jesus and building the kingdom. Whether I've been successful at that is yet to be seen.

But still I'm not the same person I used to be. My hair isn't the same. I can see some gray jumping out from what used to be blonde and now more brown than blonde from the hairs that are left. My hands are more worn. My thoughts and outlooks on life have changed. Some people actually think I'm funny. I actually think I can be funny. I'm just glad I can still tie my shoes.

And when I look around I see so many people I've grown up with already married or remarried. Many have kids in college. Some have gone on to be in Hollywood or be recognized around the world or are doing evangelism in front of thousands upon thousands of people. Some have gone on to be rich and well off. Some have struggled and lost everything. Some have already passed away.

Everyone has had their own story.

I can see that people have aged. I can see the people around me from the past and only now do I think, boy that person looks old. (Sorry) And it's not everyone. Some are still kicking those young looks.

I didn't think I had looked old until recently. Many people still thought I was young, and I looked at myself that way too. I mean I still break out on my face. Who does that at 40???

But I don't think I look as young as I used to.

I'm still young in comparison to people older than me, but I'm no longer just out of college. I see college students and think, woah they look so young. I grew up when people still played outside. The Internet wasn't ubiquitous. People weren't glued to their phones. Google, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter/X, Tik Tok, Tesla, and more hadn't been around in my early years. The Berlin Wall was still up when I was only 5. 9/11 hadn't transformed the way we travel or see the world. And we hadn't sent so many of our young men and women to wars who never came home.

The world has changed. People used to know what a man and woman were. They weren't confused by these things. Pronouns were easy. For a period of time, it seemed like we used to look more at a person’s character than the color of their skin. America used to be a place people liked and wanted to come to. Abortion used to be legal, but thankfully that's changed. We weren't confused about Israel, Palestine, the dangers of Islam, or witchcraft. It didn't feel like we were so divided when I was younger, but I know that's not true. There were different battles we were fighting then. Different things that a kid isn't concerned with that occupied the minds, hearts, and concerns of adults. But I'm an adult now looking at how to make the world a better place.

In addition to hard things, so many great things have come about. We can connect with people all over the world through the Internet. I can actually have a video conversation with someone on the other side of the earth. I can have whatever I need delivered to my door within the day or week by any number of companies. Actual robots exist now. AI is taking over so many industries and bringing its ability to the people who have ideas but didn't have the skills to create. Cars can drive themselves. Medicine and doctors have helped people live longer. I'm sure you can name so many other benefits that have come about in the last 40 years.

The world has changed for the worse and for the better.

And here I am at 40. 

I'm content in so many areas of my life. I have a good family. I have good friends. I have a good job. I've got a house to live in and a vehicle to take me places. I have food on the table. My needs have been taken care of by the Lord. 

I'm also able to do many fun and incredible things in life. I have surely been blessed. 

As I look back, I wonder about my life choices with regard to getting married or not. I'm still single. I'm now the big 4-0. What will I think of myself, and what will others think of me for not getting married yet? Could I have gotten married beforehand, probably, but I just haven't found that lady, and perhaps I haven't been the man to attract that lady yet? And the time to do that and have a family like so many around me could be fading away, but who knows what the future will hold. I actually had a dream this last week about marriage, and that was fascinating. I hope to write about it or just keep it to myself. I'm trying to hear the Lord on what it means. 

In life, we have to choose our hard. Marriage is hard. I put together a family conference this last year because so many people were having a hard time and getting divorced. And being single is hard too, because for everything it's just you. But both also have amazing positives. So we all have to choose our hard in life.

So again, here I stand at 40.

The road is before me. Many generations never made it to 40. Some people only lived to 60, and others made it to 80 and beyond. As I've been looking at my genealogy recently there are people from every walk of life who have lived to varying ages. So I don't know how long I'll have to live on this earth. Will I be able to live a long life? Will I be able to so walk in Jesus to allow His life to flow through me in such a way to reach 120 and beyond? The Word says everyone who dies before 100 is still a baby, so in reality I'm still a baby. But practically it seems like I'm quite a bit older than I used to be. Young people call me Sir a lot more now.

So here I am at 40. 

I wonder what tomorrow will bring. I hope I'll be able to live life to its fullest and to love God and love people. 

Thanks to everyone who has been a part of my life for many years or just a few days. 

Here's to 40.

I invite you to share any advice and wisdom you've got for me entering into this next decade. 

Thanks!