Journal Entry — Year of Our Voyage, Somewhere Very Blue
A Short Story of Christopher Columbus' Extraordinary Meeting
Today, while sailing under a bright sun and feeling quite proud of myself, I spotted something most extraordinary in the water.
A mermaid.
At least, I believe it was a mermaid.
I pointed and called to the crew, telling them to gather round, for history itself was swimming beside our ship. The creature floated near the surface, waved one flipper, and smiled.
I must be honest, however.
This mermaid was… not as pretty as I expected.
It had a round body, a smooth face, and what appeared to be seaweed tangled on its head like an old mop. I whispered to myself that perhaps the ocean air affects beauty.
Then—may this ink forgive me—the mermaid spoke.
“Good afternoon,” it said politely. “Please do not stare. It makes my whiskers nervous.”
I nearly dropped my quill.
I asked, very carefully, if it was truly a mermaid.
“Of course,” the creature replied. “I am a merman. I was simply born… differently.”
I asked why it did not look like the mermaids in sailor stories.
The merman sighed and said, “Stories are written by people who have never met us. Also, have you ever tried to look graceful while floating?”
This seemed fair.
To prove his point, the merman attempted to sing. It sounded like a balloon slowly losing air. The crew covered their ears. One sailor cried.
“I am more of a conversational mermaid,” he explained.
I asked his name.
“Sir Barnacle Wiggles,” he said proudly.
Sir Barnacle Wiggles told me that pretending to be a mermaid was easier than explaining to other sea creatures why humans kept pointing at him. He asked me to be kind in my writings.
I promised I would.
Before swimming away, he waved again and said, “If you write that we are not pretty, please also write that we are very friendly.”
I nodded.
I shall record that I have seen mermaids in these waters, though they are shaped differently than expected and have excellent manners.
History may question this entry.
But I know what I saw.
— C. C.
Inspired by Christopher Columbus’ Journal
You can find the original Journal entry here at Internet Archive on page 154.